Sometimes life doesn’t go as planned
Sometimes life does not go as planned. A day in the life of a mother.
By Natalie, Mama with a Mocktail
I’ve learned this lesson, myself, in the past few days. It was a great reminder that life doesn’t go as planned, but it’s okay! The quote of the month, on my planner, was, “The trick in life is learning how to handle it.” I think I should have read this quote at the beginning of the month rather than at the end of it.
I had made plans for a little road trip to go see a friend. Road trips were just what I did over the summer. For my 40’s we did 4 states in about 4 weeks and the year before us 3 weeks all the way from Sintra California to the Oregon/Washington border. It was amazing seeing so many places and visiting cities just because someone told us it was worth stopping by. The road trips were what I was looking forward to, which is why I worked so hard in the previous months – so I could play hard.
This year, I thought I could go on a road trip for a few hours. Why not? It wasn’t until one week and about 5 hours. But I couldn’t do that. I was filled with fear, anxiety and feeling overwhelmed. I really think it’s because I had a lot on my tin weeks before I left. The trip wasn’t much, as everything else I made was around me. There were a lot of unknowns, a lot of waiting for answers, and there were decisions I couldn’t make, decisions I didn’t want to make. In addition, there was pressure from work due to planning a few elaborate weddings and having to stage a lot of moving parts. My brain wasn’t working – I couldn’t remember the simple things or think of the name of the pink bird standing on one leg (although I had seen it the day before).
After a week of feeling like someone’s scratching your chest and not feeling good, you’re taking a huge step back. I dumped a lot of what was on my plate and said no when i needed to and yes when i had to listen to the voice in my head accusing me of being too far by a friend and said no to things i can put my house in order and finish the foldable laundry and spent time in The yard, closed for a few days, painted, and decided to do what was convenient for me.
Fortunately, my family and friends were supportive of my decisions. Having to cancel a trip with a friend was tough. Taking a deep breath and trusting my decision was difficult. Not being able to think was hard. Forgetting things was hard. And I didn’t feel harsh.
But after I made the decisions I wanted, the weight was lifted. I felt better. The feeling of scratching is gone. I made sure to be more present. I planned a place that was “easier” for me to travel to. I quit work. I weighed what I could. I cried a little. I drank quite a bit of non-alcoholic wine (while I never thought I should drink alcohol to survive). But I also started to realize why I felt the way I did.
I have listened to the universe. (It might sound funny.)
Life didn’t go as planned, but I’m grateful to have what I have and experience what I can do. I love myself and connect with myself. I didn’t have to please anyone, or do something because I thought it would make the other person happy. Previously, my decisions were based on doing what the other person wanted in my life. Note to self: You cannot control someone else’s happiness. But, I can control my happiness.
When you’re trying to master a hobby, don’t throw away your supplies just yet.
While we were on lockdown, I got crazy with crafting! If I wasn’t technical during the day, I’d probably drink lol one day.
I decided I needed to do something besides drinking, so I started taking up a new crafting hobby. I’ve seen all these cute polymer clay earrings on Etsy and after watching hours of lessons, I decided I too could be a clay master. I bought the basics – some tools, clay, cutters, an expensive rolling pen, and a pasta maker. It was a small investment, but I thought I would learn how to make earrings for myself, rather than buying them.
You are ready to make and bake the earrings. Well… not as easy as these videos! When I was making earrings, my daughter was helping me. You made me a cute pair of stars. It was fun for her. For me, it was a disappointment. She must have had her fun attitude.
The fun part didn’t come until months later. I’m not really sure how the polymer dough looked, but she suggested we take it out. There was just something about rolling out the clay, feeling it in our hands, and spending time doing a project together.
Here is a picture of some of the polymer pigs we made this afternoon.
So, the lesson is that it is best to learn to deal with what life gives us. I wasn’t ready to make the earrings, but I was ready to do a fun craft project with my daughter. And maybe there was a reason why I couldn’t head to San Diego. I made other memories and learned to adapt, listen to my voice and have fun while trying something new.