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Mocktail

Sometimes Life Doesn’t Go As Planned

Sometimes life doesn’t go as planned

Sometimes life does not go as planned. A day in the life of a mother.

By Natalie, Mama with a Mocktail

I’ve learned this lesson, myself, in the past few days. It was a great reminder that life doesn’t go as planned, but it’s okay! The quote of the month, on my planner, was, “The trick in life is learning how to handle it.” I think I should have read this quote at the beginning of the month rather than at the end of it.

I had made plans for a little road trip to go see a friend. Road trips were just what I did over the summer. For my 40’s we did 4 states in about 4 weeks and the year before us 3 weeks all the way from Sintra California to the Oregon/Washington border. It was amazing seeing so many places and visiting cities just because someone told us it was worth stopping by. The road trips were what I was looking forward to, which is why I worked so hard in the previous months – so I could play hard.

This year, I thought I could go on a road trip for a few hours. Why not? It wasn’t until one week and about 5 hours. But I couldn’t do that. I was filled with fear, anxiety and feeling overwhelmed. I really think it’s because I had a lot on my tin weeks before I left. The trip wasn’t much, as everything else I made was around me. There were a lot of unknowns, a lot of waiting for answers, and there were decisions I couldn’t make, decisions I didn’t want to make. In addition, there was pressure from work due to planning a few elaborate weddings and having to stage a lot of moving parts. My brain wasn’t working – I couldn’t remember the simple things or think of the name of the pink bird standing on one leg (although I had seen it the day before).

After a week of feeling like someone’s scratching your chest and not feeling good, you’re taking a huge step back. I dumped a lot of what was on my plate and said no when i needed to and yes when i had to listen to the voice in my head accusing me of being too far by a friend and said no to things i can put my house in order and finish the foldable laundry and spent time in The yard, closed for a few days, painted, and decided to do what was convenient for me.

Fortunately, my family and friends were supportive of my decisions. Having to cancel a trip with a friend was tough. Taking a deep breath and trusting my decision was difficult. Not being able to think was hard. Forgetting things was hard. And I didn’t feel harsh.

But after I made the decisions I wanted, the weight was lifted. I felt better. The feeling of scratching is gone. I made sure to be more present. I planned a place that was “easier” for me to travel to. I quit work. I weighed what I could. I cried a little. I drank quite a bit of non-alcoholic wine (while I never thought I should drink alcohol to survive). But I also started to realize why I felt the way I did.

I have listened to the universe. (It might sound funny.)

Life didn’t go as planned, but I’m grateful to have what I have and experience what I can do. I love myself and connect with myself. I didn’t have to please anyone, or do something because I thought it would make the other person happy. Previously, my decisions were based on doing what the other person wanted in my life. Note to self: You cannot control someone else’s happiness. But, I can control my happiness.

Lesson 2

When you’re trying to master a hobby, don’t throw away your supplies just yet.

While we were on lockdown, I got crazy with crafting! If I wasn’t technical during the day, I’d probably drink lol one day.

I decided I needed to do something besides drinking, so I started taking up a new crafting hobby. I’ve seen all these cute polymer clay earrings on Etsy and after watching hours of lessons, I decided I too could be a clay master. I bought the basics – some tools, clay, cutters, an expensive rolling pen, and a pasta maker. It was a small investment, but I thought I would learn how to make earrings for myself, rather than buying them.

You are ready to make and bake the earrings. Well… not as easy as these videos! When I was making earrings, my daughter was helping me. You made me a cute pair of stars. It was fun for her. For me, it was a disappointment. She must have had her fun attitude.

The fun part didn’t come until months later. I’m not really sure how the polymer dough looked, but she suggested we take it out. There was just something about rolling out the clay, feeling it in our hands, and spending time doing a project together.

Here is a picture of some of the polymer pigs we made this afternoon.

So, the lesson is that it is best to learn to deal with what life gives us. I wasn’t ready to make the earrings, but I was ready to do a fun craft project with my daughter. And maybe there was a reason why I couldn’t head to San Diego. I made other memories and learned to adapt, listen to my voice and have fun while trying something new.

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Mocktail

How to live a balanced life

How to live a balanced life

I choose balance.

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Someone recently told me, “You chose me.” Honestly, it seemed a little selfish. As a mother, many times, I am the last person I think of. I put my needs above the needs of my family. I am not selfish.

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But it is also important not to neglect yourself.

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How do you live your life? Do you need to add a little balance?

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Balance – an even distribution of weight that enables a person to remain upright and still.

Maintaining balance is difficult! Some days I feel like I’m pulling in one direction and then pulling wildly in the other. It’s like a tug-of-war with a professional soccer team at the end of a tug of war. But, other days I feel fine. I feel like I’ve been able to balance all aspects of my life – being a mother, a business owner, a girlfriend, and making time for myself.

When you have commitments, it is important to consider the choices you make. I can let my career take over my life, travel for my job and neglect the vacations I had with my daughter (aka not having a balanced life). I can live life and celebrate it – making it all about me. But this is not the person I am and this is not the life I choose. This is not my choice when I became a mother. Yes, it can be fun. But my job is as a mother. My priority is raising my child. That’s not to say I don’t let my hair fall out every now and then (aka balancing). But that doesn’t mean I neglect my child by putting the work schedule and the social schedule first.

I also chose to be a sober mother. If I only had to think to myself, drinking would probably still be something I did. I wanted to be a better person for me and my daughter. She deserves a mother who has a clear head, gets up on time and doesn’t live in a busy world.

My best friend started having children a little earlier than I did. She was busy raising her adorable children. (One of the reasons they’re so adorable is that she put a mother’s job first.) Now that her kids are 18 and 21, she’s able to enjoy weekends without her kids and nights at casinos. She puts the needs of her children first. Yes, she’s been spending time with her husband and having all-night business meetings, but she hasn’t ignored the big moments like seeing her kids dress up for Halloween or missing out on the Easter egg hunt. She has balanced her work life with her family life.

So, where are your priorities? What is important to you?

I think it needs to become more about choosing a healthy balance rather than choosing one thing over another. It’s not about choosing yourself or not choosing yourself.

Here are some ways to live a more balanced life:

Maintain a balance of what you need and what those around you need

– Learn to say no

– Be a little selfish

Don’t neglect your wife or children, put them first

– Balance activities with friends

– I realize it’s okay if there is It’s another thing you’d like to do

Boundaries are set for reasons and don’t feel bad if others don’t respect your boundaries

– It might be time to rethink your relationship with friends or family – do you give them too much and not enough for those who really matter

– It’s okay to not always be a fun person

– love your self

Find happiness from within (people, places, or other things shouldn’t make you happy)

– I love the life you live. If you don’t love your life, look inside and be true to yourself and what needs to change.

Don’t neglect important responsibilities.

– Be a better time manager so you have time for what matters

For me, it is selfish to choose myself. This is especially true because I have responsibilities. I walked into that life and took on the role of automatically realizing that I put my needs above others, I would compromise, I would give, I would be stressful, but you knew what I was doing.

Perhaps it is time to rethink your life and what is important to you. Maybe it’s time to live a more balanced life.

*I actually used to teach others how to live a more balanced life. But, that was before I was a mother and wife. It used to be easy for me to tell people what to do, but now I live life with more. I am looking forward to finding more balance in my life in the coming year.